September 2010
1 post
July 2010
1 post
June 2010
10 posts
Between My Fingers
dearoldlove:
Do you remember when you first held my hand? Now all you’ll ever be is the empty spaces between my fingers.
In the past 6 months I’ve been:
Crying as often as a six year old
Friendless as a 16 year old
Feeling as bleak as a 60 year old
Miserable as only I know how to be
In the next 6 months I will be happy or dead. I can’t be this unhappy and retain any optimism for the future. Substances don’t feel anything when the chemistry experiment fails, so I’m not going to toil any...
uh oh.
Plotting room decorations for next year. This might get dangerous.
Getting It Right
dearoldlove:
You’re not the only amazing person to love me; you’re the one who got it right.
One Happy Thought
I started a twitter to be witty and hip and gradually devolved into whining and snark.
I promised to check facebook feeds less and generate profile info more and I don’t even remember the last time something happened directly to me.
I bought a beautiful journal to record travel thoughts and gradually stopped writing anything happy going on in my life.
and I started this blog to explore...
Goal
I promised myself four years ago that I would return to Europe in time for the next World Cup. It was an unexpected boon for our group trip to coincide with the games because to Americans, soccer fans are like crack addicts that don’t steal your stuff. On the one hand I felt like some sort of joy was stolen from me at birth, that 16 years later would lead me to watch jealously as our Italian...
So. tired.
I’ve been ridiculously tired lately. Like, barely go four hours without needing a nap tired. I can’t tell if it’s my diet or sleep schedule or what. Maybe it’s loneliness. It seems everyone on facebook had a great weekend with great friends before their great vacations. My weekend was like a how-to book for lonely old ladies. Went shopping for food and lamented the fact...
May 2010
12 posts
1 tag
Actually, wait
I do miss her. Not her personality, or her values system, or her skills at being a girlfriend, or her skills at being a plain ol’ friend, or her selfishness. I just miss her being next to me. She’s photogenic, but not so much that you can’t see her staging herself next to people. It’s natural, but it’s not unaware. This one picture though, really captures the look on...
Birdsmack
dearoldlove:
Birds keep smacking into my window. The one that hit this morning was only stunned, able to fly away. Please let that be me.
B-Trapped
dearoldlove:
Googling you used to be fun. Now the Internet just feels booby-trapped.
Crookedly
dearoldlove:
After you kissed me, I couldn’t walk in a straight line. How am I supposed to walk away from you?
A Type of Problem
dearoldlove:
I fear I’m only interested in him because he reminds me of you. Does that mean I have a “type” or a problem?
2 tags
WatchOh god yes. I typically shy away from Beyonce’s music (that voice…) but this one just hits all my good spots.
2 tags
Home-ish
When you’re sleeping on some stranger’s couch for a week any bed feels like home. When you’ve been wearing 3 shirts for 7 days (let’s not talk about the socks…), wearing pajamas feels like home. When you finally, after panicking for a split second, figure out that the top lock turns left and the bottom right, then you know you’re home.
I’ve never once...
This time tomorrow
I might no longer be homeless. Ain’t life grand?
Breakdown
That’s the word I would use to describe this past semester, breakdown. There are so many ways that I felt something inside me break loose and poison my mind, so many ways that I found myself stuck in the same place and lost at the same time. It’s hard to summarize, especially since last night I spent 9 hours summarizing a courseload to improve my grade. I should have updated more...
“I’m sorry. But you could never tell the difference between the mood you were in,...”
– via: I wrote this for you (via kari-shma) (via quote-book)
April 2010
6 posts
Nobody has any questions?
^^^^I have no recollection whatsoever of posting that. I’m not even sure what it’s referring to. Eep.
1 tag
"You keep telling me to be glad for what we had...
artpixie:
-Unknown
You know when you hear a song and you can just...
March 2010
11 posts
“Why would you throw that at me, you bitch?”
– My esteemed colleague on the eve of another self righteous wretch fest.
More awesome corresponsmackdowns →
2 tags
Oddity
I feel oddly stumped by what I discover about this girl I knew in high school. I really knew her, in a way simultaneously more and less intense than intimately knowing someone. To make a long saga short I had a gigantic crush on her and rather than slink off when she rejected me I decided being her aim friend was worth my time and effort. We would talk for several hours almost every day about the...
1 tag
I love Puppies: The Best James Franco Story Ever →
I don’t know if this guy was fucking with me or what last night (he was a Tisch graduate from Rochester so you knooooow), but he told me the funniest second-hand story about James Franco at NYU ever. Goes something like this:
Okay, so my friend sees James Franco in an elevator. And he’s (the…
Somehow I feel like NYU attracts only the craziest of celeb students. Can’t imagine this...
1 tag
Was I ever?
Lately I’ve been wondering about the natural state of things, because I’m finding that being miserable feels more natural than being happy does. Everything else feels vaguely like a distraction, leading me to that moment in the middle of a good experience when I open and close my eyes quickly, taking a snapshot to convince myself later that I truly had a good time. God knows I...
February 2010
12 posts
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
Lololol
I subscribed to this improv actor’s emails back when he was doing short-order based on NYC cabbies. Recently it’s been a mixed bag of material that at most is…eh. But this one was actually pretty good:
Dear Friends, As you probably know, this was a huge week for the burgeoning Iranian space program. Their rocket technology is reaching the level of their voting technology: The...
